Without ceasing

Every time I resolve to write more on here, I never do.
So now my resolve is to write if I want to, about anything I want to.

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently about trying to regain my relationship with God, and about the local churches here. I have these ideas and thoughts all the time and I never say them to anyone, maybe I should?

I want church to be exciting, challenging, touching, friendly and many other things yet most of the time I find it is stand up sit down, sing hymns boring. I dont want to leave the methodist church - I am sure I am here for a reason but what is it? In a church that relies on SO many meetings how can someone who doesnt even go most of the time change anything? How can I make them see that this generation and younger want to connect with God desperately but need to do so in the ways which come naturaly to them, so that worship is an extension of themselves and their personalities, not a formal traditional pattern which they just take part in on a sunday. I think the history of the church is great but do you really think that the heights of my amazement at the creator of the universe dying for me can be expressed by singing hymns I dont even understand?! I need to keep this yearning alive, but I Also want to be doing something about it.

Today I've been reading about 24/7 prayer and I found a beautiful poem about it by someone called Lisa Borden



WITHOUT CEASING

And this is how we pray
Backs nestled into the hammock
Faces turned toward the stars
The warm air lifts against us
And we are quiet, quiet
As you, God, speak to us
About how big you are

And this is how we pray
Sitting on the leaf strewn ground
Peering across the pattern of sun and shade
The clear pool under the giant fig
Where the monitor lizard slips through the water
And we whisper our worshipful thanks
Again and again

And this is how we pray
Standing in the kitchen
Speaking out the worries in our minds
Telling this perfect parent God
Just how small our faith feels
Conscious of how sweetly ludicrous
Our doubts must appear

And this is how we pray
Curled into our duvets
Safely tucked in on this wind blown night
Thoughts far from here
With our friends who sit in vigil
Waiting for a precious life to pass
Maybe even tonight

And this is how we pray
With longing
And with hope
With stress
And with joy
With daring
And with simple words